My 100 Favorite Songs of All-Time: 80-71

…And by later this week, I clearly meant at the beginning of next week. Let’s get back to it.

80. Primitive Radio Gods- Standing Outside a Broken Phonebooth (genre: alternative rock… first listen: Summer 1996… spot on 2009 countdown: 40)

I’ll forever remember the Primitive Radio Gods and this song because this was the first CD I ever ran into that had a “parental advisory” sticker on it, and I was pissed when my parents told me I couldn’t get this CD. I’m sure the rest of the CD is wack (I don’t know why I feel that way, I just do), but this song is absolutely amazing. Very mellow stuff; it’s kinda the mid-90s version of “Tom’s Diner”, except even more chill. It’s dropped considerably, yes, but I don’t see it leaving the countdown in 2014.

By the way, have these guys done anything since this track? I’m pretty sure they haven’t. One of these days, I’ll check out this CD and buy it to shove it to my parents for holding me down as a nine year-old boy.

One other note, I couldn't decipher that vocal sample "I've been downhearted baby, ever since the day we met" until like 11 years after I first heard the song. Yeah, I'm not on the uptake much.

 

79. Robin S.- Show Me Love (genre: house… first listen: Summer 2001… spot on 2009 countdown: 47)

I might have some tracks you’ve never heard of, but if there’s ever a track you’ve heard of but don’t know the name to, this is it. As soon as the melody drops, you’ll be like “oh yeah, THAT song!” Straight up classic house music right here. Songs like these only prove my thesis that love songs are best when in house form. And, along the lines of Primitive Radio Gods, house music also seems to have the most one-hit wonders out of any genre. Pretty much every house cut on this countdown is the only song I have by the artist. Some formula: make like four bars of a catchy melody, build it up, break it down, get some hot vocals, and you’re set for however long you can live off royalties from a house song.

78. Tupac- Until the End of Time (RP Remix) (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Fall 2000… spot on 2009 countdown: 16)

Yeah, this song plummeted like a worldwide mob figga. The harrowing truth is that I just don’t like Tupac nearly as much as I used to, as much of a hip-hop sin as that is. Don’t get me wrong: I still love Tupac and recognize him for what he did for the rap game, and the story surrounding Tupac’s death is probably the second-best modern day conspiracy theory behind the Illuminati’s involvement in hip-hop. But eventually, people are going to come around who can deliver the message better than a man who died 16 years ago could, and that’s what has happened here to some extent.

All that said, Tupac is at his best when he goes introspective on a track, and each of the four Tupac songs on this countdown follow that mold. This cut makes the countdown for its great storytelling and reflection on friendship.

77. Rasco- Gunz Still Hot (DJ Premier Remix ft. Edo G and Reks) (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Fall 2003… spot on 2009 countdown: 85)

The original version of this song sucks. Why? Because Premo didn’t do the beat and I could barely even listen to what Rasco was saying. Premo throws on a vintage Premo beat, Edo G and Reks come through with beast guest verses and Rasco takes us home with a nice extended 20-bar verse. The result? No. 77 on the only countdown that matters. This song also has one of the catchiest hooks for an underground rap song- it’s one of those hooks where I’ll have this song on in the background, but when the hook hits, I start spitting along as if it’s out of command. This beat though…yeah. Premo is by far the best producer of all time. 

76. Mozes Gunn ft. Profound, Maintain & Juice- Verbal Warfare (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Summer 2001… spot on 2009 countdown: 74)

This is battle rap at its finest- aggressive lyrics and punchlines out the ass. Juice has the best verse (he’s the last dude on the cut), but all three other MC’s do their thing considerably well.  I haven’t heard of three of these dudes before or after this song, but one of them (I believe it’s Maintain) delivers the best  lines of the track:

Before approaching me, set aside all that weak s***/ Trying too hard to keep it real; can’t even keep it, beef get/Blown out of proportion over stupid s***/ (And everybody swear to God they got a good excuse for it)/ To sum it up, too many rappers act like b*****/ If you can’t *slight pause* take the heat, then get the f*** up out the kitchen

Tell me that’s not hard. Anyways…

The dude I have heard of- Juice- is what drove me to this track. I’m not sure there’s a better freestyle MC out there besides J-U-ICE. The stuff dude comes up with off top is ridiculous. If you can find it, “100% Juice” is well worth the price of purchase (this song isn’t on it though).

75. Tupac- Changes (genre: hip-hop… first listen: January 1999… spot on 2009 countdown: 18)

See? Another precipitous drop for MC New York. Still, this song is a classic, and if you’re my age, chances are you were bumping this in middle school, unless you went to an all-white middle school where you had to listen to rap music in the closet (*looks at himself*)… Uh… maybe I was just too self-conscious. That aside, this is another great uplifting track from Tupac with a classic sample and some nice male vocals for the hook.

The one thing I could never understand about this track was why in the hell MTV blanked out “tune” in the line “that’s the sound of my tune”. MTV went through a phase where they censored more stuff than North Korea, like the word “trunk” in Eminem’s “Stan” (dropped out of the countdown this year for the first time; sorry). They went beyond the seven dirty words and into contextual censorship, an era I hope never plays itself out again. See, the thing with contextual censorship is that it only makes you look up what was censored, and then you’ll urban dictionary it if you don’t know what it means, and then you become a little more hardened to the world. Without it, you can just mindlessly sing along, which I guess is probably the worst of the two choices, so maybe contextual censorship isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Whatever, I love freedom.

74. N.O.M.A.D.’s.- Right Here (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Spring 2001… spot on 2009 countdown: 31)

*I'll have to upload this song later*

 

Probably my favorite “word is bond” song. This song is all about “being boys” and sticking through the thick and thin of it. If you haven’t been able to tell by now, I love those kinda songs. And, when I was merely 14, this song had me in a trance. I’ve somewhat outgrown the track, but it’s still a great one. I didn’t know who this song was by until I posted my 2005 version of the countdown on a message board and someone private messaged me that their brother or friend or cousin or whatever was in this group. I’m guessing it’s a two-person group- one dude on the mic, one on the beats, because only one dude is spitting on this track. Super-harrowing beat adds a nice touch.

73. Alchemist- Smile (Ft. Twista) (genre: hip-hop… first listen: August 2009… spot on 2009 countdown: N/A)

It was my first night in Europe, and I was feeling a little homesick. I woke up in a panic and didn’t know what to do with myself. It was 5 a.m., and my friends wouldn’t be up for hours. So I went outside to the balcony of my friend’s uncle’s apartment and just stared off into space, the Eiffel Tower in the horizon. I was trying to collect myself so I didn’t lose it, and all of a sudden, this plays in my head:

I’m even smiling for me/ Smiling so you know why you can’t hurt me/ Smiling for something, not hide ‘em from fallin/Now what you know bout what smiles are all about

And literally, just like that, I was calm, cool, collected and enjoyed the hell out of my trip to Paris and Barcelona (if you're wondering how I couldn't enjoy a trip to Paris and Barcelona- I get homesick easy. What can I say? I love The 'Ze). Literally because this song came through my mind, and the thing was that I had listened to this song maybe twice before that night- it wasn’t one that had particularly stood out to me; I had just bought Alchemist’s “Chemical Warfare” and didn’t really like it all that much. But for some reason, this song stuck out, and it cured my homesickness in the span of one hook.

72. Soul Position- Final Frontier Remix (Ft. Vast Aire, Aesop Rock and Murs) (genre: underground hip-hop… first listen: Spring 2003… spot on 2009 countdown: N/A)

This is one of my favorite songs to listen to when I fail at something and need to pick myself up. The lovely horns and synth provide by RJD2 is enough to get my head bobbin’ again. For those wondering, Soul Position is made up of rapper Blueprint and producer RJD2. They did a couple of albums and an EP- the EP was tight, the first album was ok, the second album wasn’t anything to write home about. 

The original version of this song is also awesome, but the remix takes the cake because of the more uplifting sound to the beat, and also because the guest verses are all super on point, even if you never know what the hell Aesop Rock is talking about. 

Oh, the good ole days of Def Jux. In the early 2000s, nobody was doing it like this backpack label. Def Jux, along with Atmosphere, Sage Francis and a couple of other cats basically WERE backpack rap, which as you can see, has greatly influenced this blog due to the word “backpack” being in the title. Cannibal Ox, El P, Murs, Aesop Rock, Masai Bey, yeah man, those were the days. But without RJD2, none of it would have sounded tight, because RJD2 was literally the only producer in the backpack scene who could consistently make a beat worth a damn (Blockhead might have an argument here, but truth be told, I couldn’t be bothered to listen to all of Aesop Rock’s “Labor Days”). Now, RJD2 has gotten too experimental for my tastes, but if he ever puts out another album, I’ll still cop it unheard.

71. Weathermen- With Us (genre: underground hip-hop…first listen: Summer 2003… spot on 2009 countdown: N/A)

If I were to tell a girl on a first date with me that this song had my favorite chorus, she would slap me in the face, pour her drink on me and leave me with the tab while she hails a taxi. 

Fortunately for me, I’m not dumb enough to bring this chorus up on a first date. Unfortunately for me, it really is my favorite chorus in any song.

I won’t bother typing out the lyrics- you can find them for yourself- but let’s just say they don’t hold women in the most positive light. The reason I love this chorus is because of how grimy it is- it has nothing to do with any beliefs I may have about females. It’s just so aggressive and hard-hitting. I have a pretty low-fi version of this song, which is perfect because I think this song would lose its gritty-ness if I had a version that was fully mixed and mastered. This song can only be fully appreciated grainy. 

Of course, any song Cage is on is gritty by definition, and he and Copywrite comprise the Weathermen. Copywrite is one of my favorite backpackers out there, I highly recommend his latest CD “God Save the King”.

Over-under on how many days it is until I post 70-61: 10.5.

Can you really turn it up a notch? A financial explication of Kendrick Lamar's "Swimming Pools"

Here’s the scene: Being the one-percenter you are, you just moved into a ritzy apartment complex that has all the amenities a 26 year-old could possibly want: fitness center, billiards room and of course, a swimming pool.

You’re excited as can be, so you want to throw an apartment-warming party. I’m not talking about just having a few friends over to check out your new 900 square-foot, one-bedroom digs either. You want this to be on some Project X ish, except the guests will be about eight years older so, you know, you don’t face a statty.

You’re pondering ideas on what you can do to make this the biggest, baddest celebration anyone has ever been to, but to no avail, you can’t think of anything outside of setting up a beer pong table (you’re rusty; it’s ok, you haven’t thrown a party since college).

But then that “a-ha!” moment hits when you’re listening to the radio and Kendrick Lamar’s new joint “Swimming Pools” blasts through your speakers. The song puts you into a trance with its hypnotic beat and rhythmic chants of “drank”. You’re grooving along to the song when the chorus hits:

Why you babysittin’ only two or three shots?/ I’m a show you how to turn it up notch/ First you need a swimming pool full of liquor then you diiive in it it/ Pool full of liquor then you diiiiiive in it

That’s it- you have your answer! You don’t even need to hear the other four bars of the hook; you know exactly what you need to do- get a swimming pool full of liquor (then dive in it once the swimming pool is full of liquor). You already have the swimming pool (good thing you moved into that fancy shmancy apartment complex!); all you need to do now is go out and buy some liquor. Well, a lot of liquor.

That’s when it hits you: If I want to do Kendrick Lamar proud, I’m gonna have to spend a considerable amount of cash. But how much? Let’s take a look.

First, you catch a break: the swimming pool has been emptied of its water due to renovations (don’t worry, it’s not locked off or anything, you can still get in there). Otherwise, you would have had to go to management and ask them to empty the pool for you, at which point you would have had to explain your grandiose plans to management, which would have not been the best foot to start out on with them. Even if they went along with your plan, the costs of emptying the pool and then filling it up when the party is over would have most likely fallen on you. This would have cost you anywhere from $70 to $150 if you decided to go with a professional pool service- save that money for the licka!

You’re going to need a lot of it- try 30,000 gallons worth (since it’s a community pool serving the whole complex, it’s a little bigger than your normal backyard job). This is starting to sound expensive.

You’re a vodka person at heart, and you don’t believe in mixing the pool with different types of liquor (who knows what kinds of problems that could or could not pose!), so you decide to look at a few different brands and see how much a handle is going for:

Brand	Price (handle)
Absolut	$32.99
Svedka	$22.99
Gray Goose	$58.99
Skyy	$23.99
Smirnoff 100p	$34.99
Ketel One	$40.99
Belvedere	$59.99

                                                                                               

Keep in mind, a handle is 1.75 liters, and there are 3.78541 liters in one gallon. This leads to some straightforward math: 3.78541 ÷ 1.75 ≈ 2.16309143 handles in a gallon. And 30,000 x 2.16309143 ≈ 64,892.7429. But let’s round up a little bit and say you will need to purchase 64,893 handles of vodka to fill your swimming pool.

The question then becomes: How much would it cost to fill up a pool of vodka with 64,893 handles? Let’s chart this for your convenience (it’s about the last bit of convenience you’ll have):

Brand	Price (handle)	Price to Fill up Pool with said brand
Absolut	$32.99	$2,140,820.07
Svedka	$22.99	$1,491,890.07 (the economic choice)
Grey Goose	$58.99	$3,828,038.07
Skyy	$23.99	$1,556,783.07
Smirnoff 100p	$34.99	$2,270,606.07 (the “I don’t want to seem cheap, but I don’t want to show off how much gwop I really got” plan)
Ketel One	$40.99	$2,659,964.07
Belvedere	$59.99	$3,892,931.07 (the “we doin’ it big tonite!” option)

Unless you have free access to a fleet of U-Haul trucks, you’re looking at some pretty big transportation costs too, though I would hope that the liquor stores (you didn’t think you’d be able to buy 64,893 handles at one store, did you? Don’t forget about the gas costs!) would help you move the product back to your apartment. However, my guess is that unless you have Bilderberg money, you’ve already probably been priced out of following the orders of the person who whispered into Kendrick Lamar’s ear at the function during which he was babysittin’ a couple of shots. If you do have Bilderberg money, you’re probably not living in a 900-square foot apartment.

In the snowball’s chance in hell that you a) can afford millions in handles and b) live in an apartment complex, there is the whole matter of pouring the vodka into the pool. I’m no expert in viscosity (or vodka, for that matter), but let’s generalize and say it would take roughly the same amount of time to pour equal amounts of water and vodka from the same container.

It takes roughly 8.8 seconds to empty out a 710 mL (24 oz) bottle of water. More math to follow:

1750 ÷ 710 ≈ 2.46478873 x 8.8 ≈ 21.6901408 seconds to empty out a handle of vodka. Let’s give you some breathing room and round up to 22 seconds since I’m a generous guy. 

Thus, if it takes you 22 seconds to empty out one handle of vodka, it will take you 1,427,646 seconds to empty out 64,893 handles of vodka to fill up the pool. That’s 23,794 minutes, or 396.568333 hours (approximately), or 16.5236806 days spent in just the action of pouring the vodka into the pool. You also have to consider bending down to pick up the bottle, opening up the bottle, putting the bottle back and getting a new one. Those intermediate actions would take you about 10 seconds combined, so multiply those numbers by 1.45 (because 10 goes into 22 0.454545… times, and I’ll politely round down for you), and you get 2,070,086.7 seconds, or 34,501.445 minutes, or 575.024083 hours, or 23.9593368 days, or 3.422764 weeks.

I hope you have some friends, because time is money like that Styles P and Joell Ortiz track. Living in a 900 square-foot apartment, I’m guessing you make about $60,000 per year (you can afford $3 million of liquor thanks to the old money that runs in your family- this is a stretch), or about $30 per hour. You probably want to have this party ASAP because it’s an apartment-warming party; the whole thing is to celebrate the newness of moving into your new plush apartment complex. If you do this by yourself around the clock, starting on a Monday, you would miss 18 days of work and lose $4,320 in opportunity costs (assuming $30 per hour on a 40-hour work week). You’re gonna need some help, because you’ll need to sleep at some point. As many people as you can round up…

Good thing you didn’t have to spend that $70-$150 on emptying the pool in the first place.

The second part of the equation- diving into the pool- seems like a free venture at first…until you realize that swimming in alcohol is pretty impossible to do. You will most likely drown, which would prompt a 911 call. An ambulance ride, depending on where you live and how close you are to a hospital, could cost more than $2,000. Hopefully you have insurance; it'll help a good bit, but you'll still be pretty screwed.

If you somehow survive, you will be on the hook for a night in the hospital or two, which could be about $5,000 per night. Again, you better have insurance. You probably do since you can afford a 900 square foot apartment in a ritzy complex, so you won’t have to worry about a five-figure hospital bill when it’s all said and done.

Your cheapest option- if you decide to dive in the swimming pool full of vodka- would be to just die and let yourself drown. That way, you eliminate the hassle of having to save your life with exorbitant ambulance and hospital bills.

You thought the $1.5 million-plus alcohol bill would be where the costs stopped, didn’t you?

After analyzing all this information, you probably realize it isn’t economically feasible to get a swimming pool full of liquor and dive it; you’re better off babysitting a Jagerbomb or two and setting up a beer pong table. Oh well, you tried.

My 100 Favorite Songs of All-Time: 90-81

We continue on with 90-81. Let’s do it.

90. Xzibit- Paparazzi (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Summer 2003… spot on 2009 countdown: 82)

I could tell as soon as I heard this song for the first time on KSJS that it wasn’t the current Xzibit, because the 2003 Xzibit was too much of a commercial cat for my liking. I heard this song and I was like “this is some real ish”. First, the beat wasn’t the poppy sound I’d gotten accustomed to hear from X to the Z. Second, he says stuff like “that’s why Xzibit only roll with a chosen few/ you ain’t real, I can tell when I look at you” and “It’s a shame, dudes in the rap game, only for the money and the fame, paparazzi”. I was hooked. An immediate head-nodder. A year after hearing this cut, he dropped a very solid Weapons of Mass Destruction, but this is by for Xzibit’s best song; it’s not close. When people complain about rappers’ old stuff being their best stuff and everything else sucks in comparison, this is a pretty good example of that.

89. Junior Jack- My Feeling (genre: house… first listen: Summer 2001… spot on 2009 countdown: 95)

Finally, a song that has moved up in the standings from the previous list. To be quite honest, when I started making this list for 2012, I thought this song didn’t have much of a chance, but the melody and the phaser thingy that is applied to the vocals are this song’s saving grace. Straight up turn of the century house music right here, not too many things beat that.

Wild 94.9 used to play a TON of this kind of music, back when the station was awesome. Now Wild 94.9 might as well be Mix 106 or Z 95.7 (back in the day, not The Game (not the rapper Jayceon Taylor either)). I try not to commercial bash, but Wild really took a turn for the worst. I want The Doghouse back, not just JV; gimme Elvis, Hollywood, Ruthie, Rubber Chicken, Showbiz and Hammerin' Hank too. Can't forget Magic Mike, either. Straight forward.

88. The Roots- Clock with no Hands (genre: hip-hop… first listen: December 2006… spot on 2009 countdown: didn’t qualify)

Give this another countdown, and it will probably become my favorite Roots song of all-time (there’s one song in front of it right now). That beat… MAYNE! If you can’t tell by now, I’m a sucker for reflective/serious melodies. The theme of this song is just insane, and by insane, I mean insanely good. Talking about past friendships and ish- that just really doesn’t get talked about much. When you add the chorus in with those sweet female vocals, you have a recipe for greatness: I never said that you mean the world to me, maybe it’s best that you never know.

The one thing holding this song back- the musical melodic masturbation at the end of the cut that introduces some nixed beat The Roots couldn’t find room for anywhere else on the album. Otherwise, this would be a lot higher.

87. Mos Def ft. Pharaohe Monch & Nate Dogg- Oh No (genre: hip-hop… first listen: January 2001… spot on 2009 countdown: 58)

You couldn’t release this song as a single today for a couple of reasons. First, it’s a HUGE no-no in commercial rap to spit for more than 16 bars in a verse- the people just want to hear the chorus (supposedly)! Second, you can’t get TOO lyrical, lest the “dumbed-down masses” get confused. I swear, major labels think American people are retarded- how else can you explain a grown man singing “Eenie meenie miney mo” in a chorus (I’m surprised Yung Joc didn’t follow that gem up in the next line with “catch a tiger by the toe”).

We might not be the smartest people, but give us some credit. Anyone who appreciates good hip-hop loves this song. It is by far Pharaohe Monch’s best verse ("you're the next contestant on 'Catch a Beatdown!'"), and it’s one of Mos Def’s best as well. Plus you got Premo on the beat and Nate Dogg on the hook?! This song touched both coasts so seamlessly I didn't even think about it being an East Coast/West Coast combo joint until right now. The best part was it wasn’t about uniting East and West; it was about making damn good music.

86. Breeders- Cannonball (genre: rock… first listen: Fall 1993… spot on 2009 countdown: 48)

This was one of the first rock songs I remember hearing, right up there with “Smells Like Teen Spirit” which, sadly, is not on this countdown for the first time. I was watching MTV back when I was six because I was such an advanced dude, and I loved music videos. I remember there was a cannonball just rolling throughout this whole video, and that somehow translated into me liking it. I can’t imagine this song being on the 2014 list, but the fact that it’s such a momentous song in my music listening career has given it the staying power it has had. The bass line on this track is one of my favorites of all-time; that alone puts it in the Top 100.

85. Zion I- Soo Tall (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Summer 2005… spot on 2009 countdown: didn’t qualify)

This is song is so Zion I to me. Mind Over Matter not withstanding, I will listen to a Zion I album the first time around and think it’s wack. I’ll listen to it a second time around and think it’s okay. I’ll listen to it a third time around and think it’s pretty good. I’ll listen to it a fourth time around and realize it has a ton of awesome cuts. That’s the deal with “Soo Tall”- it wasn’t until three years after I copped True And Livin’ that I really got into this song. 

The rhyme scheme on this song is dope and tough to do for a whole song, but my favorite thing about this song is how uplifting it is. This song randomly came on my iPod one day as I was getting up early to go work an individual workout for the basketball team, and I was hating life for a ton of different reasons, but all of them surrounding basketball. I heard this song and I immediately connected with it- not the “black and proud” part, but the “one day we’ll be so tall” part. Yanno, like how all the hard work is going to pay off and all? Yeah, this song was speaking to me.

84. Little Brother- Life of the Party (Remix Ft. Skillz and Carlitta Durand) (genre: hip-hop… first listen: December 2008… spot on 2009 countdown: didn’t qualify)

This song is my philosophy on life to some extent. It’s not about being famous or looking for the gig that will get you the most glamour and publicity; it’s about doing you and making money doing you. The first verse on this song is one of my favorite verses of all-time: Some dudes spend they lifetime trying to headline, but it’s so much better being your opening act! What a freakin’ line!

This song also has one of the rare beats that would get me on some sort of dance floor, but the chances of this song coming on in a club or a house party not thrown by the Dannaman are worse than Mississippi Valley State winning the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. The vocal sample that is used to drive the beat is simply unbelievably good. All verses are on point, but like I said, it’s that first verse that does it for me. My only wish is that this song didn’t end so abruptly after Skillz’ verse, or that they found a way to put another hook in there. I guess the song ends the only way it can end, but that hook and the synth that drops when the hook comes is way too good to only play twice throughout the cut. 

83. A Tribe Called Quest- Electric Relaxation (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Summer 2005… spot on 2009 countdown: didn’t qualify)

That “first listen” stat is another one to be ashamed of for me. Needless to say, I was just a little behind on this song, but thanks to MTV Jams, I got caught up. The sample in this song is an absolute classic and has been used to perfection in a couple of other songs I’m in love with, one of them coming later in this countdown.

For years, I associated Q-Tip with his lame single “Vivrant Thing”, so I really didn’t give him much respect, if any. Then I went back to some Quest stuff, and then this gem. By far their best work in my opinion. I didn't even realize it was about sexin' a chick for a good few listens because I was just vibing with the beat so hard.

82. Canibus- Genabis (genre: hip-hop… first listen: November 14, 2003… spot on 2009 countdown: didn’t qualify)

This whole album is amazing- Rip The Jacker is a top-ten hip-hop album of all-time. If you disagree, you don’t respect life and all of God’s creations (and yes, I do believe in evolution; it's just a phrase so stop it). This is the first track off the album, and the first verse- short but very sweet- is so good I just had to read it at a poetry reading assembly at my high school for Black History Month. I intro’d the verse by saying it was from Germaine Williams, because saying his MC name probably would have drawn some chuckles.

This song and album as a whole showed the world the potential Canibus had to be the best MC to ever do it. All he needed was a producer who was either a) worth a damn or b) understood where dude was coming from. In Stoupe, Canibus found someone who filled both a and b. This is one of my favorite beats of all-time- it’s another one of those where you hear the melody and instantaneously feel enlightened. And when you hear rhymes like these:

Solar deflectors, incinerate you whole in a second
Flow is untested those that I've threatened fold under pressure
At 120 Beta cycles, high volts ignite your eyeballs
Until you see the fire in front of you
Optic cone rods, melt one at a time till you realize you in hell
Rip the Jacker's not done with you

You know you’re in for a treat. Either that or you think the guy has lost his mind.

81. Canibus- Showtime at the Gallows (genre: hip-hop… first listen: November 14, 2003… spot on 2009 countdown: 81)

This song stayed put; I just realized that. More on Canibus- for a few years starting with my first listen to Mic Club: The Curriculum, Canibus was my favorite MC to ever do it. That has changed a little bit since his last couple of albums were pretty weak (mainly because he’s allowed these horrid rappers to share the mic with him), but that doesn’t change the fact that in 2003 and 2004, Canibus was my life soundtrack.

The second verse on this song is my favorite Canibus verse of all-time, not including songs where he goes on for one long 100-plus bar verse. Arab-bashing aside (“eyes open wit the scope on the terrorist/
Tell him to go to hell in Arabic/ put a bullet through his narrow neck/ Watch the wall behind him get wet”), it’s Canibus in his most elevated state, besides the one long verse he does on a song to be named later. 

This is also off Rip The Jacker, further evidence that this is a classic album and you should really buy it.

80-71 to come later this week…

My 100 Favorite Songs of All-Time: 100-91

If you know me, or have read at least two of my earlier posts, you know I like to make lists. I owe this obsession to Daisy Fuentes and MTV’s best show of all-time- the weekly Top 20 countdown. I would get up before 6 a.m. every Saturday morning when I was in the third or fourth grade just to watch the new countdown. Since then, lists have been a part of my writing life.

Especially so when it comes to music. Doing my best Daisy Fuentes impersonation, I would write down daily top ten lists for my favorite songs at the moment. This would eventually lead to my first all-time top 100 list, created in 2001. Being my first list, it was a solid effort, but not too representative of my music listening life- way too recent-centric.

So I have been doing this list pretty much every other year since: 2001, 2002, 2005, 2007, 2009, and now 2012. With each passing countdown, I would tweak the formula as to how I came up with the list a little bit here and there, but with this being 2012 and the end of the Mayan long-count calendar, I figured it was time for a countdown enlightenment.

To decide my 2012 list, I came up with a list of 315 songs: the 100 from the 2009 countdown and 215 contenders. I played songs 101-315 against each other in a round-robin format, so each song “played a game” against every other song on the 101-315 list, receiving either a win or a loss. Here’s an example of how it went down, on a much smaller scale: 

Let’s say I have a list of five songs, and I wanted to decide my order of preference:

• 1.       Song A
• 2.       Song B
• 3.       Song C
• 4.       Song D
• 5.       Song E

I would start by “playing” Song A against the field. Thus, I would start with Song A and say “do I like Song A better than Song B?” If the answer is “yes”, then Song A gets a tally in the win column and Song B gets a tally in the loss column; “no” and it takes an L while Song B gets that dub-sack.  I would then move down the list and say “do I like Song A better than Song C?”…and so on down to Song E. Then Song A would be finished and have five decisions. 

Say it looks like this after one rotation (getting my gymnastics terminology on!):

• Song A- 3-1
• Song B- 0-1
• Song C- 1-0
• Song D- 0-1
• Song E- 0-1

In this example, Song A has gone 3-1 by beating Song B, Song D and Song E and losing to Song C.

Next, I would move to Song B and say “do I like Song B better than Song C?”- there is no need to say “do I like Song B better than Song A?” because that has already been decided. Say it now looks like this after two rotations (pommel horse coming up next):

• Song A- 3-1
• Song B- 1-3
• Song C- 2-0
• Song D- 0-2
• Song E- 1-1

Song B didn’t fare as well as Song A, losing to Song C and Song E and only beating Song D; this in addition to already losing to Song A during Song A’s rotation. This process would continue for each of the remaining songs. The song with the best record moves to the top of the list, the song with the worst record dwells in the cellar, and everything in between. Once I finished with 101-315, the songs with the 100 best records moved on to the final round of 200, and I repeated the process (I actually added another song after the cut to 200, so it turned out to be 201). Songs at the top of the list before round-robin play begins have a considerable advantage, because I’m comparing that song to the next one on the list, while listening to the song that I’m putting into play. But that song should have an advantage, because it was on the top of my head to begin with, and once you get to that second cut and are dealing with 1-201, the previous No. 1 song should have the edge as the reigning champion.

As you can surmise, this takes a long frickin’ time- try six months- but it also takes less time as you go down the list, because there are fewer and fewer wins and losses to hand out. If that’s too confusing, too bad; I can’t really explain it better than that. 

Methodology out of the way, let’s get to the countdown. I will do this list in ten-song installments. Ready?

100. Bush- Machinehead (genre: hard rock… first listen: Summer 1996… position in 2009 Top 100: 49)

This song made it by a half-game over “Master Thesis” by Canibus. It was a half-game because there were a few ties, and when there were ties in or on the cusp of the Top 100, I played tiebreaker games between or amongst the songs in question (there were five-way ties a couple of times), doing it much in the same format as I did to decide the overall order. But anyways, this song barely held on to its Top 100 position. I’m pretty sure this was a song in the low-70s in 2005 and mid-60s in 2007 before jumping to the top half of the countdown in 2009. Despite its slip, I still consider this a classic- I have more than 7,600 songs on my iPod, so if a song makes the Top 100, it’s in the top 1.3 percent of songs that I for the most part like. It’s a true one-percenter!

Nothing beats mid-90s alternative rock besides good hip-hop and house from the turn of the century. Still, I love mid-90s rock. This song was on those famous Top 20 countdowns hosted by the great Daisy Fuentes, I’m pretty sure. Gavin Rossdale is the man, and I’m not sure there was a better music couple than him and Gwen Stefani. MAYBE Andre 3000 and Erykah Badu, but I’d still take the No Doubter and Bush head in that match-up.

99. De La Soul- Ooh (Ft. Redman) (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Fall 2000… position in 2009 Top 100: 53)

I’m going to show my relative youth here: This song was my introduction to De La Soul. Yeah, I was late on De La. Like “Machinehead”, this song took a serious step back in my countdown, but also like “Machinehead”, this song is a beast. I love this song so much that I didn’t even pay attention to the racial slur directed to Mexicans in this track until one of my friends pointed it out like nine years after the fact. The line in question is “work hard like wetbacks”. Yeah, coming from De La, I didn’t really expect that. Oh well, I’m not going to let one line take away from the overall greatness of this cut. I’m not excusing it, but I’m not going to penalize it for a poor choice of a term (please, let's not get into another discussion about how racist this song is or isn't, but I'm prepared for it). The music video is pretty tight too- has a Wizard of Oz feeling to it.

98. Cru- Just Another Case (Ft. Slick Rick) (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Summer 2005… position in 2009 Top 100: didn’t qualify)

I was about 10 years late on this song; just happened into it late one night watching MTV Jams, back when MTV Jams had 0 infomercial interruptions and it was just music videos and Buttah Man hosting some game between a fan and a rapper; the fan would get tube socks win or lose. Oh yeah- it’s called “Hood Fab”, and the theme song beat sounded pretty much like “Rubber Band Man”, probably because David Banner produced both tracks to my knowledge.

Back to the song- as soon as I heard it, I immediately went to the family computer (this was before I had a laptop) and downloaded that bad boy off KaZaA (yeah, remember KaZaA?). Actually check that- I’m pretty sure it was Limewire. Either case, I didn't obtain the track in a legal fashion. But don't worry feds, I have purchased the track off iTunes since.

I forgot about the song for a while before it officially became a part of the Dannaman rotation. The beat in this song is so good that it took me six years to realize that I had an edited version of the song. In fact, it wasn’t until I started working on the 2012 version of the Top 100 that I had this realization.

Hella East Coast ‘90s feel to it, and Slick Rick drops a gem of a guest verse (though he is not in the music video- I think he was in jail at the time). But this song is really made by the first two verses and the interplay between the MCs in Cru and their masterful storytelling. 

97. Lamb- Transfatty Acid (Kruder & Dorfmeister Mix) (genre: chillout electronia… first listen: January 6, 2009… position in 2009 Top 100: didn’t qualify)

Yes, I remember the exact day I got this track. I was driving back up to Stanford for the start of winter quarter, looking none too forward to the next ten weeks at all. Literally as I pulled up to campus, this song started to play and I’ve been transfixed ever since.

I absolutely love Lamb in three songs, this being the only one that made the countdown (the other two being “Heaven” and “I Cry”, which were in the Top 315). She has a great voice, and if she has a good producer behind her, it’s an eargasmic combination. Kruder & Dorfmeister are the biggest hit-or-miss duo there is- they can come up with some horrible ish where they don’t even try to make a melody and go for some atmospheric sound that totally doesn’t work, or they can be pure genius. This song is the latter. The first version I had of this song- off a Best of K&D compilation- had a bit too much of the former in it, but luckily I got a Café Del Mar compilation that had a 90 second shorter version of this song and got rid of a good bit of that K&D clutter (the one posted is the long one- deal with it).

This song was one of the last 10-15 to make the 200 cut on the countdown, but really came on strong in the final round of cuts. Kudos to Lamb and K&D, for whatever that’s worth.

96. Spooks- Things I’ve Seen (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Spring 2000… position in 2009 Top 100: 86)

This song is off the soundtrack for the Laurence Fishburne-directed flick Once in the Life, which is a pretty good movie. I saw this music video on BET one day and copped the CD single on my next trip to Tower Records (back when I bought CD singles, because they were less likely to have the Parental Advisory sticker on ‘em). The Spooks did their namesake right on this cut, creating an eerie mood for a serious track. The verses are tight, the female vocals on the hook are beast, there’s not much else to say besides the fact that this song used to be in my Top 40 on my first few countdowns, maybe even Top 30, but it has dropped off a bit since.

95. Reks- Science of Life II (Ft. Alius of OVM) (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Fall 2004… position in 2009 Top 100: 84)

Reks is that dude, man. He is one of a few MCs whose albums I will cop unheard, and I believe I have all of his major releases (supposedly he is dropping his second album of 2012 pretty soon, or maybe it’s already out). He fell off the face of the Earth for about five years and then came back with a bang, releasing like four or five albums in the last four years or so. Statik Selektah and Termanology really resurrected this dude’s career.

“Science of Life II” is off Reks’ first album Along Came the Chosen, which is an amazing CD. This song would be higher if Reks rapped all three verses in this cut; nothing against Alius, but Reks is just a ton better. The beat is one of those ones that just makes you reminisce and reflect, and the female vocals on the chorus are to die for.

94. Summer Junkies- I’m Gonna Luv U (genre: early ‘90s dance/house… first listen: Early-mid ‘90s or Early 2000s, can’t really remember… position in 2009 Top 100: didn’t qualify)

It literally took me five years to find this song; this is one of a few songs like that on this countdown, all of them in the house genre. This song will take ya back- it uses that semi-famous “Moments in Love” sample by Art of Noise that you’d have a decent chance of recognizing and just has that Renee in the Midday from Wild 94.9’s Wild Workout at Noon feel to it. If you listened to Wild 94.9 back in like 2000 or so, you know what I’m talking about. Best listened to on a Friday afternoon.

93. Mr. Scruff- Get a Move On (genre: instrumental chillout electronica/lounge… first listen: Early 2000s… position in 2009 Top 100: didn’t qualify)

I’m pretty sure this is making a return to the countdown, but I don’t have much of a way of checking on that because all I have on this laptop is my 2009 countdown. I could check the message boards of this one wrestling website I used to go to all the time because I posted a couple of them there (what up TPWW?!); maybe I’ll get back to you on that.

This song was featured in a Lincoln Navigator commercial that Jeff Garcia starred in. I love lounge-y melodies, and this one fits the bill, but perhaps its most redeeming quality is its use of the vocal sample: “You gon’ have to keep movin’; you gon’ have to keep movin, boy. You gon’ have to keep movin’; you gon’ have to keep movin, boy. You gon’ have to keep movin; you gon’ have to keep movin’, boy. You gon’ have to keep movin’… Or you’ll be left behind.”

It is chopped, mixed and mashed so beautifully and in so many different ways in this song, and that is why Mr. Scruff is hotter than Mims. 

92. Jedi Mind Tricks- Blood Runs Cold (Ft. Sean Price) (genre: hip-hop… first listen: Fall 2004… position in 2009 Top 100: didn’t qualify)

This song was my introduction to both Jedi Mind and Sean P. All three verses by Sean Price, Jus Allah and Vinnie Paz are super legit and the beat is a total head-nodder. It’s all in the vocal sample in a beat, people, or at least in this song. This is one of those songs that makes you feel elevated, like you’re listening to this song from your throne, looking out into vastness of your empire, pondering some Aramaic equations. I should probably purchase the album this is off- Violent by Design- but I probably won’t. After getting Visions of Gandhi, which sounds like it would be an awesome album off the title but it really isn’t, I don’t think I can take Jedi Mind for 20-plus tracks, even if Stoupe is on every beat.

91. Cranberries- Zombie (genre: rock… first listen: 1996… position in 2009 Top 100: 29)

And it was probably higher than 29 in the past. Despite the slide of 62 spots, I doubt this song will leave the countdown anytime soon. Who can forget the harrowing lyrics and haunting hook to this cut? As one of my friends pointed out, this song is about the conflict in Northern Ireland and pulls very few punches. The music video is amazing to boot, back when music videos were more than Illuminati imagery and actually had a message.

Alright, stay tuned for 90-81, which will be posted whenever I feel like writing it up and then posting it.